Scribbles

It’s time once again for NON JUAN VIDEO MONDAY!!

This week, we have another harrowing “Tales from the Non Juan Side” story!  This one is from a girl named Sharon, and man oh MAN, is her story EPIC.  She met this guy at a club, see, and then… well, uh…

Hmm.  Well, I don’t want to give it all away, so watch it for yourself and prepare to be SHOCKED! STUNNED! Maybe even A LITTLE HUNGRY AFTERWARDS!

Man, I could sure go for some cookies right now…

-Non Juan

Non Juan’s book, “The Non Juan’s Guide to LOSING The Girl of Your Dreams: Why Everything Men THINK They Know About Dating is WRONG,” coming soon!

Above: Nick Cannon and his wife, Mariah Carey.  Did he ever ASSUME he couldn’t have her?

If you’re bad at getting women – I mean really, REALLY bad – it’s not just those women that are sabotaging your efforts.

It may be hard to believe this, but part of the blame can actually be put on YOU, and your low-level assumptions about the women you’re interested in.

Think about this: there are literally BILLIONS of women on this planet, each of which have different quirks, personalities, likes, dislikes, etc.

Of those women, at least half of them are still single, and DESPERATE for a man – ANY MAN – to show them some love and attention.

As you can see, the odds are actually in your FAVOR to score with any girl you may desire.  So why is it, then, that you can’t have the girl your heart’s been pining after?

NEGATIVE ASSUMPTIONS.

Chances are, whenever you meet a girl you like, before you even step up to her to say “hi,” you’re already making NEGATIVE ASSUMPTIONS:

• You assume she already has a boyfriend
• You assume she won’t like what you have to say
• You assume she has other things she’d rather be focusing on than meeting you
• You assume you don’t have what it takes to impress her (i.e. car, cash, the right job, etc.)
• You assume that, even if you DID manage to convince her to go on a date with you, it would eventually not work out – so why try in the first place?

All of these assumptions have one thing in common: they are based on the idea that a woman will automatically REJECT you, despite having any actual proof that she will do so.

You may think assumptions like these are your brain’s way of preventing you from a situation where you’ll face humiliating rejection.  However, what they actually are is something much more damaging…

THEY ARE THOUGHTS PURPOSEFULLY DESIGNED TO KEEP YOU FROM GETTING INTO A RELATIONSHIP!!

“But Non Juan,” you ask, “why would I want to keep myself out of a relationship!  I would LOVE to have a woman to call mine and keep around!”

Oh sure, your conscious mind SAYS all that stuff.  But who cares about that when it’s your sub-conscious that’s holding you back!

Ah yes, the sub-conscious – that part of the brain that has emotional memories stored from WAAAAAY back in our past that we hardly think of anymore, yet is responsible for many of the decisions we make.

Do you ever think about WHY you start feeling nervous when a girl you find attractive approaches you?  Ever ponder WHY it is you don’t open your mouth and just tell her straight out, “hey, baby, let’s go out sometime?”

Maybe your conscious mind can’t figure it out.  However, maybe your sub-conscious remembers the first time a girl found out you had a crush on her, and she laughed at you so hard that your ended up crying your eyes out in front of all your friends.

Yep. That’s right. Your sub-conscious remembers that.  And your sub-conscious doesn’t want to feel that humiliation again.

So, rather than go through it, it sends out NEGATIVE ASSUMPTIONS whenever you start crushing on a girl.  Assumptions like:

• “Don’t bother saying ‘hi’ to her – she’s only going to laugh about it with her friends later.”
• “That’s it, just let her keep on walking by – don’t let her bring any pain into your life.”
• “Die, scum, die! You’ll never get near ME, you seductive hussy!”

(Oops, sorry. That’s what used to go through MY brain before the Don helped me out.)

At the end of the day, YOU are responsible for the thoughts that run through your brain.  If you allow your brain to constantly think up NEGATIVE ASSUMPTIONS every time a girl you like walks into the picture, you’ll continue to LOSE girls.

Think about Nick Cannon. He’s currently married to hot-bombshell singer Mariah Carey.  Mrs. Carey is almost 11 years older than Nick – by most guy’s standards, there was NO way he should have been able to get her.  Yet because he didn’t make any NEGATIVE ASSUMPTIONS about what bad things could happen by asking her out, he was able to get with her.

More importantly, it was made easier for him because of all the guys who probably DID make those NEGATIVE ASSUMPTIONS and thought, “eh, there’s no way she’d get with me – I don’t have as much money, and I’m much too young for her.”  Guess those guys are probably slapping themselves silly right about now – I know I did!

-Non Juan

Non Juan’s book, “The Non Juan’s Guide to LOSING The Girl of Your Dreams: Why Everything Men THINK They Know About Dating is WRONG,” coming soon!

It’s time once again for NON JUAN VIDEO MONDAY!!

This week, it’s a new segment called “What HE Says, What SHE Hears,” where we explore comments guys often make on dates as a way of ATTRACTING a girl… but instead, they end up insulting her!

Today’s comment: when a guy says, “So, why is it you’re still single?”  What does SHE hear when you say this? Watch the video and find out!

-Non Juan

Non Juan’s book, “The Non Juan’s Guide to LOSING The Girl of Your Dreams: Why Everything Men THINK They Know About Dating is WRONG,” coming soon!

This past Monday, I debuted my EPIC new music video, “U Can’t Get Her Back!“

The song talks about the reality of trying to win back an ex-girlfriend – namely, that you have a better chance of downing a whole bottle of rum while riding on a pig in leather spandex than ever winning her affections again!

At the end of the video, I asked the Non Juan dating question of the week: “Should you try to get back with an ex, or should you try moving on?”

Quite a few people commented on the video – and so, once again it’s time to see some of those comments in my weekly wrap-up video!  Check it out!

Note: I had my own thoughts about this topic, which you can read about in this week’s scribble, “Would Elin Be Cool with Tiger Woods Keeping HIS Exes Around?“

What are YOUR thoughts about this subject? Leave your comments below!

-Non Juan

Non Juan’s book, “The Non Juan’s Guide to LOSING The Girl of Your Dreams: Why Everything Men THINK They Know About Dating is WRONG,” coming soon!

Above: Tiger: “Can’t I invite just ONE of my exes over? We’re just friends now!” Elin: “Only if you want another golf club to the face…”

Prior to me being knowledgeable of women, the number of girlfriends I had was slightly less than the thermometer temperature when it reaches freezing level… in Celsius. (That’s zero degrees for all you non-temperature enthusiast.)

However, I do remember at least ONE girl named Stacy who went out with me on more than 3 dates.  For me, a three-date commitment was as close to claiming a girlfriend as I got, so I was DEFINITELY glad to take it!

Sadly, after our third date – where I somehow managed to get Tabasco sauce in her hair and nearly lit our dinner table on fire – she, for some unknown reason, decided she didn’t want to date me anymore.  Instead, she said that we could just be friends – friends in the sense that we wouldn’t actually hang out together, but it was cool for us to call each other and send text messages to each other.

A couple of weeks later, I managed to get a date with one of the HOTTEST looking girls I’ve ever had the chance of going out with.  How, you ask? Well, I was in a fast-food place walking to the bathroom, when I tripped and fell forward into her stomach as she was standing up.  Luckily, she just happened to be choking on a burger, and me hitting her gut helped to lodge the food out.  Next thing I know, she’s telling me she’d do anything for me… so I asked her for a date!

Anyway, during the date everything was going great with our conversation.  We were waiting for our appetizers to arrive, when suddenly, my phone received a text from Stacy.  I pulled out my phone to read it – she said “Hi” – and I was so excited that I started to text her back.

My date looked at me and said: “Hey, who’s text was that?”

I replied: “Oh, it’s nobody – just my ex-girlfriend.”

She looked puzzled. “Really?”

Me: “Yeah. Oh man, she’s such a great person – she’s funny, and smart, and really cool to hang out with!”

Her: “Wait – you still hang out with her?”

Me, sensing she was getting jealous: “Oh, well, yeah… I mean, even though it didn’t work out, she’s still a great person.  We’re just friends now – you have nothing to worry about!”

Her: “Oh… okay.”

After the appetizers arrived, my phone began to ring.  I picked it up and, once again, it was Stacy.  She wanted to know if I wanted to come by her apartment and wash her socks!

As I was talking to her, I looked over at my date, who looked very, very annoyed.

Her: “Could you please stop talking to your EX? I thought you and ME were on a date here!”

Me: “Sorry – she can be very needy at times, and…”

Her: “And what? You’re not even together – WHY do you feel the need to keep in contact with her?”

Me: “Well… um… because, she’s a nice person, and…”

Her: “Well, guess what? I’M a nice person, too. I’M worth getting to know.  And I’M here with you right now, on a date with you, hoping it might work out.  And what are YOU doing? Talking to an ex-girlfriend who probably left you, broke your heart, and is only keeping you around so you can feed her ego? Why would you want to keep someone like that around anyway?”

At the time, I couldn’t answer that question.  All I could do was try to brush it off – “Ha ha ha, you’re crazy, it’s not even like that” – and continue on with the date.  Which I wasn’t able to, because the girl got up from her seat and walked out…

—-

So, what did I learn from this incident? At the time, nothing.  BUT…

Once I became knowledgeable of how relationships work, I understood why she was so mad.  By keeping an ex around, you are giving other women the impression that you’re (a) not completely over that person, and (b) still hoping you will get back with them.

This may not be the case necessarily, but it IS giving that impression.  And, chances are, it’s hurting your chances with other women.

Think about it, fella: how often have you dated a girl that you later found out was still close friends with an ex-boyfriend?

How did you feel when you found out that she had conversations with him that she couldn’t have with you? How did you feel when she’d say things like, “My ex wants to meet up for lunch, but it’s nothing serious,” or the always classic “but he and I have a history together – I can’t just throw that away!”

Actually, if she was REALLY feeling you, she SHOULD be able to throw it away since she’s supposed to be creating a history with YOU – but that’s another scribble altogether

My point is, if you’d feel a certain way about her keeping in contact with an ex (which, for the record, she shouldn’t), you have to realize that she’s probably gonna feel the same way.  The easiest way to LOSE a girl is to make her feel disrespected, and trying to hold on to a relationship with an ex-girlfriend does just that.

(Note: This, of course, excludes situations where you’ve had kids with an ex.  But even then, you should only be going around your ex to see the kids, NOT to spend bonus time with her.)

That’s all for now – leave your thoughts below!

-Non Juan

Non Juan’s book, “The Non Juan’s Guide to LOSING The Girl of Your Dreams: Why Everything Men THINK They Know About Dating is WRONG,” coming soon!

So, my review for Lil Wayne’s “Regurgitation” – OOPS – I mean “Rebirth” leaked album keeps picking up steam, as it has been picked up by multiple sources now (AllHipHop.com, Digg, Delicious, Twitter) and most recently ThatsHipHop.com.

In their article about me, they are actually influenced by my review to NOT buy this horrible cd when it officially drops.

Well, I wish I could say the same about women. No matter how hard I try to “influence” them to go out with me, I still get the same excuses:

1. “I never date guys named…What is your name again?”
2. “…save me a step and just put your phone number in the trash can”
3. “Let’s be ‘friends with benefits.’ You get friendship & I get the benefit of not dating you”
4. “I may be a blind, pigeon-faced midget – BUT, that doesn’t mean I’m dating you !”

And the list goes, on and on and on and on……

Anyway – Here is what ThatsHipHop.com had to say about my review:

Non Juan is our new favorite music critic – seriously, we highly suggest you subcribe to his YouTube account. With the accidental shipping of Lil’ Wayne’s Rebirth album, Juan got a hold of it and did an early review. And let’s just say the album’s not high on his list of recommendations. As Non Juan says, “If you want insight into how Wayne sounds on the album, picture the Tasmanian devil stuffing an autotune box down his throat.” Oh, and here’s another: “Trust me, hearing some of the songs on this album are gonna make you wish rock music had never been invented in the first place!” And then he throws up. Needless to say, we’re not rushing out to buy this when it officially drops.

If you haven’t seen the video review yet (boy are YOU behind) – it is available here:

Lil Wayne Rebirth Blows Chunks but Non Juan Review Rocks!

- Enjoy and have a great Non Juan Day!

Hey! Can’t control your woman? Do like Non Juan – go to the Charlie Sheen school of dating!

From http://www.NonJuan.com – Could dating a drunk Mariah (and drunk girls in general) be a solution to Non Juan’s dating problems?? Watch the video to find out!

Greetings, Non Juan fans!

As you all know, I’ve been on the hunt for a girlfriend for a while now – and by “a while”,  I mean “ever since I slid out the womb.”  It was the last time I was anywhere NEAR a woman’s… well, ya know – and I’ve been trying to get back ever since.

Why the seemingly desperate chase for my one-true love?  Girls bring so much to a guy’s life, and when I see other guys with girlfriends, I feel like I’m missing out on something.

In an attempt to explain myself, I will, from time to time, share with you my reasons as to why I want a girl in my life – and not just because they’ll pay for my meals and drive me places (though it would be nice to get taken some place from time to time…)

REASON WHY GIRLS ARE AWESOME #1: THEY TAKE CARE OF YOU WHEN YOU’RE SICK

Recently, my friend Harry dared me to jump into a pool of water.  This wouldn’t normally be such a bad idea, if it weren’t for the fact that (a) it’s wintertime, (b) it was raining outside, and (c) I’m allergic to certain types of chlorine.

However, I didn’t want to look like a punk in front of my friend, so I dived in.  Next thing I know, I’m breaking out in hives and sweating in 45 degree weather.

Needless to say, I was sick.

During my week-long sickness, I had no one to take care of me – not even my parents (despite the fact that my apartment is located in their backyard.  They even had me quaranteened!)  While making frequent trips back and forth to throw up in my toilet, I kept thinking to myself: “Man, I wish I had a girlfriend here to take care of me…”

Girls are such nurturing people.  No matter how sick you get, they will usually be there whenever you need to be taken care of.  I could have been blowing snot out of every orafice of my body, with burning red eyes and dried-up drool on my face, and – assuming the girl i was dating cared about me – she would’ve been there to wipe me up, get me some eye drops, and put a cup under my mouth to collect my spit.

But did I get any of that help?? NOOOO.  Instead, I was forced to drag myself out of bed, attempt to cook my own meals (which was made even worse since I can’t cook - i burned 3 bowls of soup!), take my own pills (which were mixed up in the scissors drawer – I ended up cutting myself), and draw my own baths (I fell asleep during one of my bathing sessions, and ended up looking like a shrunk raisin.

Having to do all that definitely made me appreciate the nurturing aspect a woman brings to a relationship.  If only I could find one who would do all that stuff for me without being completely grossed out (at my sickness AND at the sight of me), I’d be SO happy.  Luckily I eventually got better – I was THIS CLOSE to calling Dr. Murray to fix me up.  I think he’s on trial for something now, though…

-Non Juan

Umm… Errr.. If this is the story of a “Perfect Gentleman” – well… You tell us what you think?????

Sure, General Larry Platt may have gotten the limelight, but it was an earlier un-aired (too hot for tv) try out by Non Juan that was the inspiration… well, sort of…

It’s “The Non Juan’s Guide to Dating!” Dating Tip #1: It’s okay to give a girl a compliment… BUT…

Well, another Valentine’s Day is here and still no date (not even close). So, I went to this site - LastChanceDate.com to try my luck for a final attempt at a date (or at least someone to say, “Hi” to me). The site says that “it’s 100% Free – Find someone as ugly – - I mean “facially challenged” as you… Answer a few questions and you could be another moderately satisfied customer like our featured couple – Biscuits and Gravy” – so, I should have a shot… right?

Happy Valentine’s Day!!

Um… okay, so I know it’s a couple of days afterward… but really, when you’re not used to ever having a Valentine, everyday FEELS like it could be the holiday!

Anyway, I wrote this little song as a way to woo some of the ladies out there. Let’s hope it works!

Relationships can be a hard thing for many guys to get into.

Part of it is due to our egos.  Once we develop a perspective of how to get into relationships, we tend to stick to whatever mantra it is that we believe will help snag us a girlfriend.

Even if that mantra turns out to be pure baloney.

Unfortunately, there are many, MANY myths and ideas us guys have fallen for over the years when it comes to how to attract women.  As young boys, we are taught by mothers, aunts, grandmothers, and other women around us that we have to act in certain ways and/or do certain things to get women.  And we believe them because, at the end of the day, ALL men want to attract a woman.

How many of you have heard the following advice from women in your life:

*”If you want to obtain a girlfriend, you have to treat her like a queen”
*”Make sure you buy a girl flowers – that’ll let her know how much you care about her.”
*”Never curse in front of a lady – they won’t respect you if you do.”

Now, how many of you have gone out with a girl, treated her like a queen, bought her flowers and made sure to be on your absolute best behavior…

…and have later seen this girl going out with someone who treated her like crap, never bought her ANYTHING, and cursed more times than a sailor?

CLEARLY, THERE IS A DISCONNECT.

Does this mean you should start acting like a “bad boy?”  Should you forgo your current self in order to better attract women?

The answer is “no…” and “yes.”

What I mean is: “no,” you should not feel the need to suddenly start treating all the girls you’re attracted to like a jerk would.

At the same time, you SHOULD start questioning why some of the things you’re doing in your attempts to ATTRACT women… are getting you nowhere.

There’s a great saying I always like to tell people: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting the same results.”

Does this sound like YOU when it comes to your dating life? Are you constantly going through the same dating patterns and ending up with the same results?

If so, the best chance you have at being more successful is to start doing the OPPOSITE of what you’re doing now.

Of course, in order to do that, you have to first understand why it is the things you are currently doing to get into relationships are actually PREVENTING you from doing so.

THAT’S WHERE I STEP IN.

My name is Non Juan.  As you’ll be able to see from some of the blogs/videos on this site, I used to be pretty bad with women.

Okay, I’ll admit it – I was REAL bad with women.

In fact, I could barely muster up the courage to talk to them.  I would either get tongue tied, or suck up to them too much.

Ugh.  Kinda pathetic, actually.

Luckily, I had a mentor – the Archbishop Don “Magic” Juan, school me on how to handle myself and the situation surrounding me when I got around women.

Now, I’m actually able to get women to go out with me, without reverting back to all the things I used to do.

BUT…

Since I have more experience in getting dumped than getting women, I’ve decided to help all the guys out there by explaining to them – in DETAIL – why all the things they think will get them women…

…actually does the OPPOSITE.

Stay tuned to this web site, as I will be giving all you guys out there a crash course in how to LOSE women.  Along the way, you’ll be able to get a better understanding of what does NOT work with women, so that you can figure out ways to do the OPPOSITE.

That’s all for now!

-Non Juan

The easiest way to ruin your chances with a woman… is to BELIEVE her when she talks about what she wants out of a relationship.

This may seem like an idiotic statement, but it’s been my experience that the more you try to convince yourself that what a woman’s saying is what she wants, the more damage you do to yourself in this game of love.

How many times have you seen a girl friend of yours dating someone that, based on previous conversations with her, is no where NEAR what she said she’s looking for?

For example: a few weeks ago, I was talking to a lady, and she mentioned that she was dating a guy that had kids.  The only problem: she had previously mentioned that she didn’t want to date ANY guy who had kids.

What changed her mind? According to her:

“…I don’t know… it was just something about him that I couldn’t resist, and the kids part was no longer an issue.”

In other words, what changed her mind was that she had a HIGH INTEREST in this guy.  When a woman is really, REALLY digging a guy, all the self-imposed “rules” she makes up for her dating life go flying out the window.

More importantly, though: when this guy met this girl, she initially didn’t want to see him.  Why? Because she knew he had kids.

HOWEVER…

That didn’t stop him from trying.  He chose not to listen to the words she was saying, because he knew they were pure B.S.

WHAT A WOMAN CLAIMS TO WANT OUT OF A RELATIONSHIP DOESN’T MATTER IF SHE REALLY LIKES YOU.

You could meet a woman who says she only dates men who believe in God, and that same woman could turn around the next day and fall head-over-heels for a devil-worshiping Satanist if she’s really feeling him.

The bottom line is, if you believe a woman when she throws out a dating disclaimer, you will truly limit the number of girls you attempt to date.  ALL girls will throw out some kind of dating disclaimer – it’s their made-up way of trying to “protect” themselves from dating a weirdo.

If you don’t believe me, take a look at me: I’m short, wear glasses, and have the fashion sense of a blind iguana.  These characteristics used to make me think that no girl would EVER want me.

Now, I don’t let it become an issue.  If a woman says to me, “I only date tall men,” I act as if I didn’t even hear the statement and continue flirting with her.  Needless to say, I go on a LOT more dates now with gi rls who are taller than me – and most of them offer their number to me without me asking first!

So remember: when a woman starts talkin’ about qualities she looks for in a mate, turn your brain to “off” for a few minutes, wait until she’s done talking, then continue on pursuing her.  (Note: if she pulls out the can of mace, though, you may want to walk away

-Non Juan

Back in my “OMG, I’m absolutely TERRIBLE at getting women” days (what was that, last week?? HA HA HA HA!), I would be desperate for a girl – ANY girl – to show me love and affection.

I would also be open to hitting on any girl that came my way, even if I knew that, deep down, she either wasn’t my type or shouldn’t be involved in my life.

One of the main reasons I stayed single for so long was because I had a knack for crushing on women that already had boyfriends/lovers/husbands.

Not that I would be seeking them out on purpose.  I would go to a club or social gathering, see a pretty girl and – when I wasn’t spazzing out about how hot she looked or drooling on myself – attempt to start up a conversation with her.

These various girls all had one thing in common: they were funny, a joy to be around, easy to talk to…

And, unfortunately for me, TAKEN.

After a few minutes of conversation, they would somehow let it “slip” that they already had a man in their lives.  Me, being the desperate Non Juan that I was, would still attempt to try and get their contact info, under the guise that “hey, we could still keep in contact as friends!”

Oh man, what a moron I was!

Oh sure, it seemed like a good idea at first: get her in the “friendship zone” as a means of allowing myself to be around her enough so that she could see how much BETTER I was than her man toy, then somehow make her transition her feelings for HIM over to ME so WE could be together.

It seemed like such a good plan…

Unfortunately, I learned the hard way something very, VERY important:

CHASING A WOMAN WHO ALREADY HAS SOMEONE WILL USUALLY PROLONG YOUR LIFE AS A SINGLE PERSON.

Before I continue on: as with all statements made in my blogs, there are ALWAYS exceptions to the rule.

Yes, there HAVE been instances where a girl was dating one man, got approached by another man, and decided that man number 2 was a better option for her.

HOWEVER, this is something that RARELY occurs. And even when it DOES occur, the second man still has to wait out the woman’s decline in interest for her current man, which can take anywhere from weeks to YEARS to occur.

In the grand scheme of things, though, this happens maybe 10% of the time.   You know what happens the remaining 90% of the time?

1. The guy starts trying to see the girl under the guise of “friendship.”
2. The guy invites the girl out to do stuff under the “friendship” umbrella.
3. The guy secretly becomes resentful of the girl because she always brings her male companion along on their dates – er, I mean “friendship outings.”
4. When her other guy isn’t brought along, the guy is usually stuck having to hear about him during the whole outing.
5. The guy continues to hope each day that the girl’s male companion will drop out of the picture.
6. Several years later, the girl is either (a) still with her original male companion, or (b) no longer seeing the male companion, but is now hooked up to another male companion who is still – STILL  – not him.

The worst part of it all, though, is not that this girl never ends up dating the guy.  It’s the fact that, while he was laser-focused on trying to obtain this ONE girl…

HE ENDED UP PASSING OVER 1000′s OF OTHER GIRLS WHO WERE READILY AVAILABLE FOR HIM TO DATE!!!

Is this how you want YOUR life to be? Do you really want to chase after girls who already have other dudes they’re seeing?

Well, if you do, then I say “best of luck to you!”  I’ll hope and pray that you end up being one of the 10% who actually ends up making that currently unavailable girl your lover for life.

For the rest of you, though, I leave you with this advice: if a girl you’re attracted to mentions that she has someone already, your best bet is to back off.  If she IS in a good relationship, she’s not going to leave him for you. If she’s in a BAD relationship, the sex may be so good that she’s STILL not going to leave him for you.

And, if she’s lying and really does NOT have a man in her life, she’s letting you know, in her own gentle way, that she’s just not feeling you.

In any case, you’d be wasting your time chasing after this unavailable chick when there are ALWAYS other, more readily available options out there.  So go get one, already!

-Non Juan

Non Juan’s book, “The Non Juan’s Guide… to LOSING the Girl of Your Dreams,” coming very, very soon!

It’s time for another episode of “Tales From the Non Juan Side,” where we have girls tells stories illustrating what NOT to do to attract them!

This week’s story comes from a girl who got hit on by a man from Africa while hanging out at the club.  He thought he had the slickest of lines… but then he had to mention something about her hips.  Ugh…

On the public stage, women have a tendency to unanimously declare men a species of insensitive morons who have big egos and never think about anything but what THEY want.

That may be true, but what about our BAD qualities?? HA HA HA HA HA HA!!

But seriously, guys – how many times have you heard a woman talk about how her current significant other isn’t able to display his emotions to her in a way that satisfies her?  When you ask these women what they’re talking about, they’ll usually mention a list of things they’d like for their man to do:

• “I wish he’d tell me how much he loves me more often.”
• “I wish he’d watch movies with REAL plots and feelings, instead of just shoot-em-ups and sports movies.”
• “I wish he’d let me know what he’s feeling all the time, 24 hours a day!”

As a guy, you may actually start to believe that these things are true.  After all, they sound like pretty reasonable requests: who wouldn’t like to be verbally told they’re loved? Why shouldn’t a guy get in touch with his sensitive side and watch chick flicks, or reveal every single thing he’s feeling whenever his girl wants him to?

The answer: BECAUSE DOING THESE THINGS WILL NOT KEEP A GIRL INTERESTED IN YOU.

All the things girls tend to mention are things that THEY do amongst each other to show they’re connected.  Why? Because that’s how they connect.

Women, by nature, are creatures designed to be more nurturing and displaying of their feelings.  Therefore, it makes sense for them to tell everyone they come across how they feel about them, or have a desire to see some sappy romantic movie.

And, though it would seem logically sound that they’d want to date a guy that’s able to be as sensitive as her, the reality is this:

IF SHE WANTED A DATING PARTNER THAT DID THOSE THINGS, SHE’D BECOME A LESBIAN.

Her WORDS may say “I want to date a guy who displays emotions and feelings like a chick.”  However, the guy she’s currently hooking up with (i.e. not YOU) would tell you her natural instincts say “I need someone with characteristics that are OPPOSITE of mine.”

I, like you, used to fall for the whole “sensitive man” trick.  I’d do everything I could to show a girl I was as in touch with my emotions as she was.

I’d spend the entire evening telling her how much I liked her; we’d go to the latest rom-com flick (where I’d make sure to cry at the end with tears, snot, etc.); and I’d write her a poem on a napkin, read it to her in front of everyone on the street, and think to myself, “Oh man, she’s SO going to like me now – I just showed her how sensitive I am!”

Next time I’d call her up for a date, she’d either:

1. Give me the “let’s just be friends” speech
2. Tell me I didn’t have enough “bite” for her; or
3. Tell me she re-connected with her “bad boy” ex who never told her he loved her, never wrote her a poem, and whose idea of a “romantic comedy” was “Debbie Does Dallas.”

Now, does this mean you should become an insensitive guy who slaps women in the face when greeting them? OF COURSE NOT!

You can still show a woman that you care about her, and should.  However, you are more apt to LOSE a girl if you try to show emotions in the same way she shows them to you.

You trying to display your feelings like she does will not help trigger the parts of her brain that turns her on when she sees a guy doing manly things.  Instead, it’ll trigger that part of the brain you do NOT want – the part that puts you in the category of “wow, he acts just like one of my girl friends!”

Then you’ll NEVER be able to get with her! (Unless she’s into girls – in which case, u may want to buy a wig…)

-Non Juan

Non Juan’s book, “The Non Juan’s Guide to LOSING The Girl of Your Dreams: Why Everything Men THINK They Know About Dating is WRONG,” coming soon!

As I’ve said before, the ways of attracting women are usually OPPOSITE of the way guys BELIEVE they should work.

One of the rules guys tend to fall for is the one that says they have to be in constant communication with a girl.  Granted, if you are in a relationship with a woman, you may want to spend time with her every now and then so she’ll know you haven’t run off to another country with some other hot-looking babe.

However, if you’re just starting to see a girl, did you know you can actually use repetitive communication as a way of making her LESS attracted to you?

Thanks, in part, to advances in technology, men now have TONS of options they can use to talk to a girl 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  Not only do these things make a guy a constant presence in a girl’s life (whether she wants him to be or not), but they also make it that much easier to deter a woman’s interest, and have her running away from you faster than a politician from his wife! (Three cheers for making a current reference!)

Texting, video chatting, instant messenger, Twitter – so many ways to make sure a girl knows you’re around all the time!  Why ask a girl out on a date where you have to physically see her in person anymore – that’s SO 2009!

Furthermore, why give your newfound dating partner time to miss you, think about you, wonder what’s going on when you’re not around her – ya know, all the things girls tend to have to do in order for her brain to build up an interest in you?

Nope, instead you can now do to her what all the OTHER guys she’s not currently getting with are doing – message her all the time!

At first I didn’t understand how doing this would wane a girl’s interest.  When I used to meet girls, I would get their phone number, email, AOL screen name and twitter account information.

Clearly, any of the girls that gave me all this info wanted me to take them out.  Of course, back then I was still too nervous to actually pick up the phone and call a girl for a date, fearing they’d laugh at me so loudly that other girls would hear her and never want to date me again.  (In all fairness, it only happened ONE time.)

However, I figured I could warm them up to the idea of sitting at dinner with me for a few hours by first communicating with them a few times via text messages.  I’d send a few little messages to a girl throughout the day, for several days, to make sure she wanted to talk to me.

Next, I’d move it up to the “Instant Message” phase (which, for me, was as close to going steady with a girl as I could get without having been on any actual dates with her).  This, combined with the aforementioned texting, would go on for a couple more weeks.

Once I felt our technological communication was at its peak, I’d begin emailing her personal messages, telling her how much I liked her, and how I couldn’t wait to show her a good time.  Keep in mind that, during this whole time, I still wasn’t actually ASKING the girl on a one-on-one date.

Even when I finally DID ask her out, it wouldn’t be via phone call.  Instead, I’d either send her a text or email message asking her if she had any free nights coming up that week.  That’s when I’d get the message every “Non Juan” gets from women:

“Oh, I’m sorry, Non Juan – I can’t go out with you because (insert one of the following excuses: ‘I have a boyfriend;’ ‘I just don’t see you that way;’ ‘I’m not trying to date anyone seriously right now,’ etc.)”

So why did these girls, who I seemed to have great communication with via these various messaging services, end up rejecting my date offer?

As I later found out, while messaging a girl may SEEM like a good way to get to know a girl, it doesn’t allow her to develop as strong of an attraction to you as she would if she were physically able to be aroud you.  A text message doesn’t allow her to get see your facial expressions; an instant message doesn’t allow her to hear your laugh or vocal tone; an email doesn’t replace how connected she’d be to you by simply giving you a hug.

And of course, sending her a consistent barrage of messages doesn’t give her enough of a break from you to think of insentives for HER to contact YOU.  You’re actually KILLING her brain’s ability to think of ways to convince YOU to be around HER by messaging her all the time!

But hey – if you’re trying to actually LOSE the girl you’ve been chasing after, keep on sending those text messages! I’m sure she’ll LOVE reading them later – ya know, after she gets dropped off from the guy she’s on a date with NOW that actually had the GUTS to ask her out!

-Non Juan

Non Juan’s book, “The Non Juan’s Guide to LOSING The Girl of Your Dreams: Why Everything Men THINK They Know About Dating is WRONG,” coming soon!

From time to time, I like to show video examples of a Non Juan in action.

Sure, I may have been bad with women, but there are still TONS of men out there who know how to make women feel even MORE awkward on dates than I did!

Here’s an example from an episode of “Blind Date” (the oh-so popular show from the late 90s/early 00′s) of a guy named Lou doing his best to impress a girl.  As you’ll be able to see from the video, he’s doing everything he can to peak the girl’s interest.

Little does he realize that he’s actually displaying some too familiar Non Juan traits:

1. He’s trying too hard to please her;
2. He’s agreeing with everything she says; and
3. He’s asking her questions that give off his insecurities about himself.

Watch the video, and share your comments about Lou and his night out below!

Above: Lou and his desperate attempt to make a connection… with a girl that’s clearly NOT feeling him.

-Non Juan

It’s NON JUAN VIDEO Monday!!

Today, Non Juan lets all the fellas out there know about the dangers of calling a girl too much.  What do YOU think about Non Juan’s views on phone calling? Leave your thoughts below!

-Non Juan

It’s time for NON JUAN VIDEO MONDAY!!

Today, I reveal to you the SECRET to winning back an ex-girlfriend!  If you’ve recently been dumped by the girl of your dreams, I have the absolute BESTEST dating tip you could ever hear…

Watch the video, and don’t forget to listen for the question of the day at the end.  Leave your comments below!

-Non Juan

One of the many things girls claim to want in a man is “honesty.”

If you’re like I once was, you probably take this to mean “I should tell my girl absolutely every single thing that ever happens to me so she’ll know there’s no secrets between us.”

And, if you’re like I once was, you’ve probably been in relationships with girls where you did, in fact, tell them all the things that happen to you.

Which means, if you’re like I once was… you probably do NOT have a girlfriend.

Could it be that all that honesty was actually HURTING your relationship with a girl?

I remember a few years ago, I had a friend of mine in a dilemma. He had recently asked a woman to be his girlfriend, but he was guilt-ridden because, during the “we’re just talking” phase, another girl had come up to him at a party and kissed him.

He felt SO guilty about his new girlfriend not knowing this that he was thinking about telling her.

So, what did I tell him to do?

Easy – I said, “Of course you should tell her – if you do, she’ll know how honest of a guy you are and believe anything you say to her from now on!  You’ll be establishing trust! Heck, she may even THANK you for telling her!”

Man, oh man, what a moron I was!

Sure enough, he took my advice.  A few hours later, he was calling me on my phone, crying his eyes out while yelling:

“BUT I TOLD HER THE TRUTH!! WHY DID SHE GET MAD AT ME!! IT’S NOT LIKE I’M KISSING THAT OTHER GIRL NOW!!”

If I had known then what I know now, I would have given him the opposite advice.  Instead of telling him to blah blah blah about this kiss from the past, I would have told him to keep his mouth shut, and that it was “none of her dang business” who she kissed in the past.

On the other hand, if you’re in the business of LOSING girls, it’s best to tell your girl about these types of things.  Anything you can think of that may cause her to see you in a different light, you should tell her if you’re wanting to LOSE her.

What kinds of things am I talking about?

1. Any incidents where you, as the “innocent bystander,” are getting kissed, grouped, hugged up, hit on, or having “special favors” done for you by another girl.
2. Any parts of your past that, while distant, will make a girl question being with you.  So yes, you should tell her about that time you tortured a cat named Fluffy, or how girls used to make fun of you for peeing on yourself when you got excited.
3. Any unresolved feelings you may have about an ex-girlfriend.  Hey, she wants you to be honest, right? Of course you should tell her how you still have “feelings” for a previous lover – all girlfriends love hearing about THAT!

Bottom line: if you’re trying to keep a girl around, there ARE certain things it’s okay to NOT tell her.  This doesn’t mean you should lie to her – it just means you don’t have to mention it.  Not telling her these things doesn’t make you a liar – and besides, do you REALLY want to know every single caveat of her past life??

-Non Juan

On Monday’s Non Juan video, “Can Using the Phone Make You LOSE Women,” I talked about the consequences of calling a girl too much.

I asked YOU – no, not you, but the guy behind you – to leave your thoughts on the subject.  Lo and behold, a few people commented on the video.  So, I decided to film another video sharing some of these people’s thoughts!

Check it out, and leave your OWN thoughts about this topic below!

-Non Juan

Non Juan’s book, “The Non Juan’s Guide to LOSING The Girl of Your Dreams: Why Everything Men THINK They Know About Dating is WRONG,” coming soon!