It’s time once again for NON JUAN VIDEO MONDAY!!

This week, we have another harrowing “Tales from the Non Juan Side” story!  This one is from a girl named Sharon, and man oh MAN, is her story EPIC.  She met this guy at a club, see, and then… well, uh…

Hmm.  Well, I don’t want to give it all away, so watch it for yourself and prepare to be SHOCKED! STUNNED! Maybe even A LITTLE HUNGRY AFTERWARDS!

Man, I could sure go for some cookies right now…

-Non Juan

Non Juan’s book, “The Non Juan’s Guide to LOSING The Girl of Your Dreams: Why Everything Men THINK They Know About Dating is WRONG,” coming soon!

It’s time for another episode of “Tales From the Non Juan Side,” where we have girls tells stories illustrating what NOT to do to attract them!

This week’s story comes from a girl who got hit on by a man from Africa while hanging out at the club.  He thought he had the slickest of lines… but then he had to mention something about her hips.  Ugh…

Happy Valentine’s Day!!

Um… okay, so I know it’s a couple of days afterward… but really, when you’re not used to ever having a Valentine, everyday FEELS like it could be the holiday!

Anyway, I wrote this little song as a way to woo some of the ladies out there. Let’s hope it works!

Well, another Valentine’s Day is here and still no date (not even close). So, I went to this site - LastChanceDate.com to try my luck for a final attempt at a date (or at least someone to say, “Hi” to me). The site says that “it’s 100% Free – Find someone as ugly – - I mean “facially challenged” as you… Answer a few questions and you could be another moderately satisfied customer like our featured couple – Biscuits and Gravy” – so, I should have a shot… right?

It’s “The Non Juan’s Guide to Dating!” Dating Tip #1: It’s okay to give a girl a compliment… BUT…

Sure, General Larry Platt may have gotten the limelight, but it was an earlier un-aired (too hot for tv) try out by Non Juan that was the inspiration… well, sort of…

Umm… Errr.. If this is the story of a “Perfect Gentleman” – well… You tell us what you think?????

Greetings, Non Juan fans!

As you all know, I’ve been on the hunt for a girlfriend for a while now – and by “a while”,  I mean “ever since I slid out the womb.”  It was the last time I was anywhere NEAR a woman’s… well, ya know – and I’ve been trying to get back ever since.

Why the seemingly desperate chase for my one-true love?  Girls bring so much to a guy’s life, and when I see other guys with girlfriends, I feel like I’m missing out on something.

In an attempt to explain myself, I will, from time to time, share with you my reasons as to why I want a girl in my life – and not just because they’ll pay for my meals and drive me places (though it would be nice to get taken some place from time to time…)

REASON WHY GIRLS ARE AWESOME #1: THEY TAKE CARE OF YOU WHEN YOU’RE SICK

Recently, my friend Harry dared me to jump into a pool of water.  This wouldn’t normally be such a bad idea, if it weren’t for the fact that (a) it’s wintertime, (b) it was raining outside, and (c) I’m allergic to certain types of chlorine.

However, I didn’t want to look like a punk in front of my friend, so I dived in.  Next thing I know, I’m breaking out in hives and sweating in 45 degree weather.

Needless to say, I was sick.

During my week-long sickness, I had no one to take care of me – not even my parents (despite the fact that my apartment is located in their backyard.  They even had me quaranteened!)  While making frequent trips back and forth to throw up in my toilet, I kept thinking to myself: “Man, I wish I had a girlfriend here to take care of me…”

Girls are such nurturing people.  No matter how sick you get, they will usually be there whenever you need to be taken care of.  I could have been blowing snot out of every orafice of my body, with burning red eyes and dried-up drool on my face, and – assuming the girl i was dating cared about me – she would’ve been there to wipe me up, get me some eye drops, and put a cup under my mouth to collect my spit.

But did I get any of that help?? NOOOO.  Instead, I was forced to drag myself out of bed, attempt to cook my own meals (which was made even worse since I can’t cook - i burned 3 bowls of soup!), take my own pills (which were mixed up in the scissors drawer – I ended up cutting myself), and draw my own baths (I fell asleep during one of my bathing sessions, and ended up looking like a shrunk raisin.

Having to do all that definitely made me appreciate the nurturing aspect a woman brings to a relationship.  If only I could find one who would do all that stuff for me without being completely grossed out (at my sickness AND at the sight of me), I’d be SO happy.  Luckily I eventually got better – I was THIS CLOSE to calling Dr. Murray to fix me up.  I think he’s on trial for something now, though…

-Non Juan

From http://www.NonJuan.com – Could dating a drunk Mariah (and drunk girls in general) be a solution to Non Juan’s dating problems?? Watch the video to find out!

Hey! Can’t control your woman? Do like Non Juan – go to the Charlie Sheen school of dating!