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I was waiting for a girl to call me yesterday for a date (I asked her for her number, and she said to give her mine so that SHE would call ME instead).

The girl never actually called… but while I was waiting around for her, I was surfing the net and came across 50 Cent’s newest album, “Before I Self Destruct!”

The album doesn’t come out for another 3 weeks (or earlier, now that it’s leaked), but I heard all of the tracks on YouTube, and put together a video album review – the FIRST one posted ANYWHERE in the world for this album!!  I guess this is what happens when you have tons of free time and no dates

So, what did I think of the album? Watch the video below:

What did YOU think of the album?  If you’ve heard it, leave your comments below!

-Non Juan

As you all know, Michael Jackson’s new movie, “This Is IT,” opens in theaters worldwide today for a limited two-week run.

While everyone else is excited about the release of the movie, there is at least ONE person – or should I say, puppet – that isn’t…

ME.

Why, you ask? Well, I’ve never told anyone this up until now but… ah, just watch the video I made below:

I hope Sony and Michael have some good lawyers, ’cause I’m ready to get my SUE on!  (Which reminds me: if you’re reading this, Sue, PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME! I didn’t mean to accidentally push you into that mud puddle yesterday when I was running up to give you a hug!)

-Non Juan

Well, well, well, it looks like my lessons with Don “Magic” Juan are starting to pay off!

Believe it or not, I was actually able to muster up enough courage to ask a girl on a date last night!  There’s this girl named Tina that lives down the street from me, and I’ve been DYING to ask her out but was too scared to do so.

I paced around for almost two hours before I finally decided to call her.  And by “call,” I mean I saw her coming out of her front door and yelled out:

“HEY TINA!!!  IF YOU’RE NOT DOING ANYTHING TONIGHT WE SHOULD GO OUT ON A DATE!!”

What? How else was I supposed to “call” her – I didn’t have her phone number!

She gave me strange look, then said the words I thought I’d never here a woman say to me before:

“Eh, sure.  I’ve got nothing better to do, and could use a free meal.”  Woo-hoo!

We set the date for 7 PM.  I spent the rest of the day (more…)

It’s NON JUAN VIDEO MONDAY!  Time for another hilarious video, courtesy of me, Non Juan!

For this week’s video, it’s another exciting installment of “Tales from the Non Juan Side,” where we have REAL girls tell us REAL life stories about their interactions with a Non Juan! Today, it’s from a girl named Briana, and boy, is her story a doozy! It involves her, a guy, rock-and-roll, and…

Well, you have to watch it for yourself.  Check it out:

And ladies: If you have a Non Juan story that YOU’D like to share, write me at ASK@NonJuan.com. Who knows, we might end up having YOUR story told in one of our videos!

-Non Juan

Good news, everybody – I think I’m starting to improve my “game” a bit!

If you’ve seen some of my recent videos, you may know that I was ordered to go see Don “Magic” Juan to better my relationship with the ladies.  After our first session… well, he could sense that I REALLY needed some help, so he took me out to the club to practice talking to girls.

Try as I might, I kept getting “Tongue Tied,” and ended up falling flat on my face.

SO, he had to take me all the way back to square zero (square one was just way too nerve-racking for me) and help me get comfortable around women.

First, he had me look at pictures of supermodels and say “hi” to them.  In the beginning, I would look at the picture… and then pass out.

Slowly but surely, I was eventually able to say “hi” to the picture without feeling too nauseous.  The next step was to come up with a follow-up statement.  Don “Magic” Juan wanted me to say something like “How are you?” or “So, you come around here often?”

Instead, my brain kept making me say things like, “Was that dress made out of (more…)