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11
Nov
NON JUAN DATING TIP: Make Yourself Into The Man She Says She Wants

Greetings, everybody!

It’s Wednesday, which means it’s time for another fantastically AWESOME Non Juan dating tip!  Today’s lesson:

MAKE YOURSELF INTO THE MAN SHE SAYS SHE WANTS

There are plenty of nice guys out there who seem to have a hard time figuring out what a woman wants from a dating partner.  Seems pretty easy to me – all you have to do… (more…)

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6
Nov
My Night at the Movies – Was it a date??

My friend Harry says I can be quite aloof at times when it comes to figuring out if girls like me or not.

I spend the majority of my day asking girls out – via the Internet, in person, at the grocery store, at the local gynecologists’ office (I find it’s the easiest place to find single ladies!).  Despite all my knowledge about how to treat the opposite sex, I usually end up hearing “no,” “NO!”, or getting slapped in the face.

I say that to say, I get REJECTED so much that it’s hard for me to tell whether a girl is hitting on me… or just about to hit me.

Anyway… so, last night I got these tickets to see a FREE movie screening.  It’s one of those L.A. things where you get to see a movie that’s still in development, and it was AWESOME to say the least!

I had 2 tickets, and – as usual – no date.  So, I figured I’d call up my friend Beynonce (pronounced Bee-Non-Say). She’s one of my few girl “friends” – actually, my ONLY girl “friend” – who doesn’t mind me asking her to go places with me.  As a matter of fact, she ALWAYS says yes whenever I ask her to go somewhere.  I just figure she’s bored and has nothing else to do. (Great news for me – it means I don’t have to go places alone!)

When I called her, I began to say, “Hey Beynonce – I have tickets to…”

And before I could finish, she responded back with:

“YES!! YES!! OMG, YES!!! I’D LOVE TO GO WITH YOU!!”

Me: “Um… I haven’t even told you what it was yet!”

Her: “Oh, right.  Well, um… I’d still like to go.”

Me: “Great! We have to be there an hour early – I’ll pick you up on my scooter.”

Her: “That’s GREAT! Can I ride on the handle bars this time?”

A couple of hours later, I picked her up, and we rode over to the theater.  It normally takes me about 10 minutes to get there from where I live, but it took a bit longer because Beynonce kept falling off my handle bars.  She didn’t complain; in fact, she said something about “getting roughed up and bruised being (more…)

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4
Nov
NON JUAN DATNIG TIP: Use Begging to Make Her Date You!

Once again, it’s time for me to give out some unfounded Non Juan dating advice!  Remember: if you have any dating/relationship questions you’d like for me to answer, send an email to ASK@NonJuan.com, or call me toll-free at 877-NON-JUAN and leave your question on my answering machine!

Today’s Non Juan Dating Tip:

USE BEGGING TO MAKE HER DATE YOU!

Asking a girl out can be a nerve-racking experience for any guy.  They might look at you funny, say no, or – if you’re someone like me – hit you over the head with their sub sandwich while sicking their dogs on you.

If you ask a girl out and she says no, does it really mean she won’t go out with you? Well, most people would probably say “yes.”  And who are these people, you ask?

QUITTERS, that’s who!

A girl saying “no” to you simply means one thing: you haven’t (a) asked her out enough times to wear her down enough to say “yes”, and (b) you’re not asking in the right way.

And what exactly IS the “right way” to ask a girl out?”

BEGGING!

That’s right, fellas – if you (more…)

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2
Nov
NON JUAN VIDEO MONDAY: Michael Jackson's This Is IT Review

It’s Monday again! That must mean one thing…

NON JUAN VIDEO MONDAY!! HOO-RAAAAAY!

Every Monday, I like to post up a brand new video featuring me, Non Juan!  Last week I threw my hat into the review ring by giving a video summation of 50 Cent’s new (leaked) album, “Before I Self Destruct.”  Today, I’ve decided to review a movie!

Last night, I finally went to see the movie “Michael Jackson’s This Is IT!”  I was supposed to see it last Tuesday – I even got a ticket for the L.A. premiere and everything – but this girl I wanted to impress said she’d be SO grateful to me if I gave her my ticket.

So I did.  I’d like to think that my ticket being with her that night was almost like us going on a date together (even though she told me I had to be miles away for her to really enjoy herself)!

So, what did I think of the movie? Watch the review below!

What did YOU think of the movie? If you saw it, leave your thoughts below OR write me at ASK@NonJuan.com!

-Non Juan

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30
Oct
Reverse Sexism: How come SHE gets in the club FREE and I don't?!?

I can’t believe how unfair some establishments can be towards us guys!

Hoping to land a date last night, I was looking online for something interesting to go to so I could find an excuse to call up a girl to go with me.  After a few dead ends (“Lobster and Lobster Night” at the nearby seafood place, “Dunk a Turtle in Hot Acid Night” at the nearby reptile food place, Karaoke), I finally found something worth going to: a comedy club!

I saw their flier posted on the Internet, and it looked like a really funny line up.  I was just about to put down my turkey and applesauce sandwich to call up my Internet girlfriend (who lives next door, and who I still have yet to actually go out with on a date), when I saw the following words at the bottom of the flier:

“Ladies free before 10; Guys only pay $10.”

WHAT?!?!?

GASP!!!

SHOCK!!

AWE!!

I don’t BELIEVE it – $10 to see comedy at a club?!? I can see it for FREE on Comedy Central any day of the week!

Okay, okay, so some of the ladies might see my reaction to this whole thing as me being a “cheapskate.”  First of all, I’m not “cheap” – I’m “thrift store friendly.”  Sure, I COULD buy my clothes at some place fancy like Wal-mart, but I can get the same shirt for 70% off at a thrift store (AND it’s been field-tested, too)!

Secondly, it’s not necessarily the $10 that annoys me (thought it IS a lot of money for someone on a $9-dollar-a-week allowance).  It’s the fact that the women (more…)

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