Would Elin Be Cool with Tiger Woods Keeping His Exes Around?
Above: Tiger: “Can’t I invite just ONE of my exes over? We’re just friends now!” Elin: “Only if you want another golf club to the face…”
Prior to me being knowledgeable of women, the number of girlfriends I had was slightly less than the thermometer temperature when it reaches freezing level… in Celsius. (That’s zero degrees for all you non-temperature enthusiast.)
However, I do remember at least ONE girl named Stacy who went out with me on more than 3 dates. For me, a three-date commitment was as close to claiming a girlfriend as I got, so I was DEFINITELY glad to take it!
Sadly, after our third date – where I somehow managed to get Tabasco sauce in her hair and nearly lit our dinner table on fire – she, for some unknown reason, decided she didn’t want to date me anymore. Instead, she said that we could just be friends – friends in the sense that we wouldn’t actually hang out together, but it was cool for us to call each other and send text messages to each other.
A couple of weeks later, I managed to get a date with one of the HOTTEST looking girls I’ve ever had the chance of going out with. How, you ask? Well, I was in a fast-food place walking to the bathroom, when I tripped and fell forward into her stomach as she was standing up. Luckily, she just happened to be choking on a burger, and me hitting her gut helped to lodge the food out. Next thing I know, she’s telling me she’d do anything for me… so I asked her for a date!
Anyway, during the date everything was going great with our conversation. We were waiting for our appetizers to arrive, when suddenly, my phone received a text from Stacy. I pulled out my phone to read it – she said “Hi” – and I was so excited that I started to text her back.
My date looked at me and said: “Hey, who’s text was that?”
I replied: “Oh, it’s nobody – just my ex-girlfriend.”
She looked puzzled. “Really?”
Me: “Yeah. Oh man, she’s such a great person – she’s funny, and smart, and really cool to hang out with!”
Her: “Wait – you still hang out with her?”
Me, sensing she was getting jealous: “Oh, well, yeah… I mean, even though it didn’t work out, she’s still a great person. We’re just friends now – you have nothing to worry about!”
Her: “Oh… okay.”
After the appetizers arrived, my phone began to ring. I picked it up and, once again, it was Stacy. She wanted to know if I wanted to come by her apartment and wash her socks!
As I was talking to her, I looked over at my date, who looked very, very annoyed.
Her: “Could you please stop talking to your EX? I thought you and ME were on a date here!”
Me: “Sorry – she can be very needy at times, and…”
Her: “And what? You’re not even together – WHY do you feel the need to keep in contact with her?”
Me: “Well… um… because, she’s a nice person, and…”
Her: “Well, guess what? I’M a nice person, too. I’M worth getting to know. And I’M here with you right now, on a date with you, hoping it might work out. And what are YOU doing? Talking to an ex-girlfriend who probably left you, broke your heart, and is only keeping you around so you can feed her ego? Why would you want to keep someone like that around anyway?”
At the time, I couldn’t answer that question. All I could do was try to brush it off – “Ha ha ha, you’re crazy, it’s not even like that” – and continue on with the date. Which I wasn’t able to, because the girl got up from her seat and walked out…
—-
So, what did I learn from this incident? At the time, nothing. BUT…
Once I became knowledgeable of how relationships work, I understood why she was so mad. By keeping an ex around, you are giving other women the impression that you’re (a) not completely over that person, and (b) still hoping you will get back with them.
This may not be the case necessarily, but it IS giving that impression. And, chances are, it’s hurting your chances with other women.
Think about it, fella: how often have you dated a girl that you later found out was still close friends with an ex-boyfriend?
How did you feel when you found out that she had conversations with him that she couldn’t have with you? How did you feel when she’d say things like, “My ex wants to meet up for lunch, but it’s nothing serious,” or the always classic “but he and I have a history together – I can’t just throw that away!”
Actually, if she was REALLY feeling you, she SHOULD be able to throw it away since she’s supposed to be creating a history with YOU – but that’s another scribble altogether 
My point is, if you’d feel a certain way about her keeping in contact with an ex (which, for the record, she shouldn’t), you have to realize that she’s probably gonna feel the same way. The easiest way to LOSE a girl is to make her feel disrespected, and trying to hold on to a relationship with an ex-girlfriend does just that.
(Note: This, of course, excludes situations where you’ve had kids with an ex. But even then, you should only be going around your ex to see the kids, NOT to spend bonus time with her.)
That’s all for now – leave your thoughts below!
-Non Juan
Non Juan’s book, “The Non Juan’s Guide to LOSING The Girl of Your Dreams: Why Everything Men THINK They Know About Dating is WRONG,” coming soon!
