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On Monday’s Non Juan video, “Can Using the Phone Make You LOSE Women,” I talked about the consequences of calling a girl too much.

I asked YOU – no, not you, but the guy behind you – to leave your thoughts on the subject.  Lo and behold, a few people commented on the video.  So, I decided to film another video sharing some of these people’s thoughts!

Check it out, and leave your OWN thoughts about this topic below!

-Non Juan

Non Juan’s book, “The Non Juan’s Guide to LOSING The Girl of Your Dreams: Why Everything Men THINK They Know About Dating is WRONG,” coming soon!

One of the many things girls claim to want in a man is “honesty.”

If you’re like I once was, you probably take this to mean “I should tell my girl absolutely every single thing that ever happens to me so she’ll know there’s no secrets between us.”

And, if you’re like I once was, you’ve probably been in relationships with girls where you did, in fact, tell them all the things that happen to you.

Which means, if you’re like I once was… you probably do NOT have a girlfriend.

Could it be that all that honesty was actually HURTING your relationship with a girl?

I remember a few years ago, I had a friend of mine in a dilemma. He had recently asked a woman to be his girlfriend, but he was guilt-ridden because, during the “we’re just talking” phase, another girl had come up to him at a party and kissed him.

He felt SO guilty about his new girlfriend not knowing this that he was thinking about telling her.

So, what did I tell him to do?

Easy – I said, “Of course you should tell her – if you do, she’ll know how honest of a guy you are and believe anything you say to her from now on!  You’ll be establishing trust! Heck, she may even THANK you for telling her!”

Man, oh man, what a moron I was!

Sure enough, he took my advice.  A few hours later, he was calling me on my phone, crying his eyes out while yelling:

“BUT I TOLD HER THE TRUTH!! WHY DID SHE GET MAD AT ME!! IT’S NOT LIKE I’M KISSING THAT OTHER GIRL NOW!!”

If I had known then what I know now, I would have given him the opposite advice.  Instead of telling him to blah blah blah about this kiss from the past, I would have told him to keep his mouth shut, and that it was “none of her dang business” who she kissed in the past.

On the other hand, if you’re in the business of LOSING girls, it’s best to tell your girl about these types of things.  Anything you can think of that may cause her to see you in a different light, you should tell her if you’re wanting to LOSE her.

What kinds of things am I talking about?

1. Any incidents where you, as the “innocent bystander,” are getting kissed, grouped, hugged up, hit on, or having “special favors” done for you by another girl.
2. Any parts of your past that, while distant, will make a girl question being with you.  So yes, you should tell her about that time you tortured a cat named Fluffy, or how girls used to make fun of you for peeing on yourself when you got excited.
3. Any unresolved feelings you may have about an ex-girlfriend.  Hey, she wants you to be honest, right? Of course you should tell her how you still have “feelings” for a previous lover – all girlfriends love hearing about THAT!

Bottom line: if you’re trying to keep a girl around, there ARE certain things it’s okay to NOT tell her.  This doesn’t mean you should lie to her – it just means you don’t have to mention it.  Not telling her these things doesn’t make you a liar – and besides, do you REALLY want to know every single caveat of her past life??

-Non Juan

From time to time, I like to show video examples of a Non Juan in action.

Sure, I may have been bad with women, but there are still TONS of men out there who know how to make women feel even MORE awkward on dates than I did!

Here’s an example from an episode of “Blind Date” (the oh-so popular show from the late 90s/early 00’s) of a guy named Lou doing his best to impress a girl.  As you’ll be able to see from the video, he’s doing everything he can to peak the girl’s interest.

Little does he realize that he’s actually displaying some too familiar Non Juan traits:

1. He’s trying too hard to please her;
2. He’s agreeing with everything she says; and
3. He’s asking her questions that give off his insecurities about himself.

Watch the video, and share your comments about Lou and his night out below!

Above: Lou and his desperate attempt to make a connection… with a girl that’s clearly NOT feeling him.

-Non Juan

As I’ve said before, the ways of attracting women are usually OPPOSITE of the way guys BELIEVE they should work.

One of the rules guys tend to fall for is the one that says they have to be in constant communication with a girl.  Granted, if you are in a relationship with a woman, you may want to spend time with her every now and then so she’ll know you haven’t run off to another country with some other hot-looking babe.

However, if you’re just starting to see a girl, did you know you can actually use repetitive communication as a way of making her LESS attracted to you?

Thanks, in part, to advances in technology, men now have TONS of options they can use to talk to a girl 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  Not only do these things make a guy a constant presence in a girl’s life (whether she wants him to be or not), but they also make it that much easier to deter a woman’s interest, and have her running away from you faster than a politician from his wife! (Three cheers for making a current reference!)

Texting, video chatting, instant messenger, Twitter – so many ways to make sure a girl knows you’re around all the time!  Why ask a girl out on a date where you have to physically see her in person anymore – that’s SO 2009!

Furthermore, why give your newfound dating partner time to miss you, think about you, wonder what’s going on when you’re not around her – ya know, all the things girls tend to have to do in order for her brain to build up an interest in you?

Nope, instead you can now do to her what all the OTHER guys she’s not currently getting with are doing – message her all the time!

At first I didn’t understand how doing this would wane a girl’s interest.  When I used to meet girls, I would get their phone number, email, AOL screen name and twitter account information.

Clearly, any of the girls that gave me all this info wanted me to take them out.  Of course, back then I was still too nervous to actually pick up the phone and call a girl for a date, fearing they’d laugh at me so loudly that other girls would hear her and never want to date me again.  (In all fairness, it only happened ONE time.)

However, I figured I could warm them up to the idea of sitting at dinner with me for a few hours by first communicating with them a few times via text messages.  I’d send a few little messages to a girl throughout the day, for several days, to make sure she wanted to talk to me.

Next, I’d move it up to the “Instant Message” phase (which, for me, was as close to going steady with a girl as I could get without having been on any actual dates with her).  This, combined with the aforementioned texting, would go on for a couple more weeks.

Once I felt our technological communication was at its peak, I’d begin emailing her personal messages, telling her how much I liked her, and how I couldn’t wait to show her a good time.  Keep in mind that, during this whole time, I still wasn’t actually ASKING the girl on a one-on-one date.

Even when I finally DID ask her out, it wouldn’t be via phone call.  Instead, I’d either send her a text or email message asking her if she had any free nights coming up that week.  That’s when I’d get the message every “Non Juan” gets from women:

“Oh, I’m sorry, Non Juan – I can’t go out with you because (insert one of the following excuses: ‘I have a boyfriend;’ ‘I just don’t see you that way;’ ‘I’m not trying to date anyone seriously right now,’ etc.)”

So why did these girls, who I seemed to have great communication with via these various messaging services, end up rejecting my date offer?

As I later found out, while messaging a girl may SEEM like a good way to get to know a girl, it doesn’t allow her to develop as strong of an attraction to you as she would if she were physically able to be aroud you.  A text message doesn’t allow her to get see your facial expressions; an instant message doesn’t allow her to hear your laugh or vocal tone; an email doesn’t replace how connected she’d be to you by simply giving you a hug.

And of course, sending her a consistent barrage of messages doesn’t give her enough of a break from you to think of insentives for HER to contact YOU.  You’re actually KILLING her brain’s ability to think of ways to convince YOU to be around HER by messaging her all the time!

But hey – if you’re trying to actually LOSE the girl you’ve been chasing after, keep on sending those text messages! I’m sure she’ll LOVE reading them later – ya know, after she gets dropped off from the guy she’s on a date with NOW that actually had the GUTS to ask her out!

-Non Juan

Non Juan’s book, “The Non Juan’s Guide to LOSING The Girl of Your Dreams: Why Everything Men THINK They Know About Dating is WRONG,” coming soon!

On the public stage, women have a tendency to unanimously declare men a species of insensitive morons who have big egos and never think about anything but what THEY want.

That may be true, but what about our BAD qualities?? HA HA HA HA HA HA!!

But seriously, guys – how many times have you heard a woman talk about how her current significant other isn’t able to display his emotions to her in a way that satisfies her?  When you ask these women what they’re talking about, they’ll usually mention a list of things they’d like for their man to do:

• “I wish he’d tell me how much he loves me more often.”
• “I wish he’d watch movies with REAL plots and feelings, instead of just shoot-em-ups and sports movies.”
• “I wish he’d let me know what he’s feeling all the time, 24 hours a day!”

As a guy, you may actually start to believe that these things are true.  After all, they sound like pretty reasonable requests: who wouldn’t like to be verbally told they’re loved? Why shouldn’t a guy get in touch with his sensitive side and watch chick flicks, or reveal every single thing he’s feeling whenever his girl wants him to?

The answer: BECAUSE DOING THESE THINGS WILL (more…)