Back in my “OMG, I’m absolutely TERRIBLE at getting women” days (what was that, last week?? HA HA HA HA!), I would be desperate for a girl – ANY girl – to show me love and affection.

I would also be open to hitting on any girl that came my way, even if I knew that, deep down, she either wasn’t my type or shouldn’t be involved in my life.

One of the main reasons I stayed single for so long was because I had a knack for crushing on women that already had boyfriends/lovers/husbands.

Not that I would be seeking them out on purpose.  I would go to a club or social gathering, see a pretty girl and – when I wasn’t spazzing out about how hot she looked or drooling on myself – attempt to start up a conversation with her.

These various girls all had one thing in common: they were funny, a joy to be around, easy to talk to…

And, unfortunately for me, TAKEN.

After a few minutes of conversation, they would somehow let it “slip” that they already had a man in their lives.  Me, being the desperate Non Juan that I was, would still attempt to try and get their contact info, under the guise that “hey, we could still keep in contact as friends!”

Oh man, what a moron I was!

Oh sure, it seemed like a good idea at first: get her in the “friendship zone” as a means of allowing myself to be around her enough so that she could see how much BETTER I was than her man toy, then somehow make her transition her feelings for HIM over to ME so WE could be together.

It seemed like such a good plan…

Unfortunately, I learned the hard way something very, VERY important:

CHASING A WOMAN WHO ALREADY HAS SOMEONE WILL USUALLY PROLONG YOUR LIFE AS A SINGLE PERSON.

Before I continue on: as with all statements made in my blogs, there are ALWAYS exceptions to the rule.

Yes, there HAVE been instances where a girl was dating one man, got approached by another man, and decided that man number 2 was a better option for her.

HOWEVER, this is something that RARELY occurs. And even when it DOES occur, the second man still has to wait out the woman’s decline in interest for her current man, which can take anywhere from weeks to YEARS to occur.

In the grand scheme of things, though, this happens maybe 10% of the time.   You know what happens the remaining 90% of the time?

1. The guy starts trying to see the girl under the guise of “friendship.”
2. The guy invites the girl out to do stuff under the “friendship” umbrella.
3. The guy secretly becomes resentful of the girl because she always brings her male companion along on their dates – er, I mean “friendship outings.”
4. When her other guy isn’t brought along, the guy is usually stuck having to hear about him during the whole outing.
5. The guy continues to hope each day that the girl’s male companion will drop out of the picture.
6. Several years later, the girl is either (a) still with her original male companion, or (b) no longer seeing the male companion, but is now hooked up to another male companion who is still – STILL  – not him.

The worst part of it all, though, is not that this girl never ends up dating the guy.  It’s the fact that, while he was laser-focused on trying to obtain this ONE girl…

HE ENDED UP PASSING OVER 1000′s OF OTHER GIRLS WHO WERE READILY AVAILABLE FOR HIM TO DATE!!!

Is this how you want YOUR life to be? Do you really want to chase after girls who already have other dudes they’re seeing?

Well, if you do, then I say “best of luck to you!”  I’ll hope and pray that you end up being one of the 10% who actually ends up making that currently unavailable girl your lover for life.

For the rest of you, though, I leave you with this advice: if a girl you’re attracted to mentions that she has someone already, your best bet is to back off.  If she IS in a good relationship, she’s not going to leave him for you. If she’s in a BAD relationship, the sex may be so good that she’s STILL not going to leave him for you.

And, if she’s lying and really does NOT have a man in her life, she’s letting you know, in her own gentle way, that she’s just not feeling you.

In any case, you’d be wasting your time chasing after this unavailable chick when there are ALWAYS other, more readily available options out there.  So go get one, already!

-Non Juan

Non Juan’s book, “The Non Juan’s Guide… to LOSING the Girl of Your Dreams,” coming very, very soon!

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