Oh boy, what a day I just had!

My friend Harry told me about this convention happening in town called the Film, Stage & Showbiz Expo.  It’s where people who are trying to be film, theater or music stars could go to network, listen to seminars about “the industry,” and add to their business card and brochure collection.  What, am I the ONLY one who has one?!?

I couldn’t decide if I wanted to go (I had other things I had already planned on doing, like giving my pet hamster Larry a bubble bath and calling back all the girls who forgot to call me back earlier in the week)…

…but then I realized: with all those actresses going to the convention, there was bound to be at least ONE girl there desperate enough to date me!

And so, it was off to the convention!  I had a man in a green screen suit follow me around and take pictures. (Um… yeah… in case you’re curious, I don’t know why he agreed to it.  Or why he was wearing a green screen suit.  All that mattered was he said he’d take the pictures for free, which was right in my budget!)  Check them out!

_ _ _ _ _

The opening gate to the expo.  I had to register so they wouldn’t kick me out!

An over-the-shoulder view of the registration computer area.

One of the industry panels of the day.  I was trying to concentrate on what the woman was saying, but I was too busy thinking about how I’d ask her out on a date.  Once it was over, I walked up to her and said: “I like your wig – it looks really good on you.”  It wasn’t a wig.  And she wasn’t too happy with me

Me, in the bathroom, hiding out from the “wig” lady.  Boy, was she upset!

The whole side wall of this one room had a bunch of boxes with people’s head shots on top of them.  Hey, how come I don’t have a head shot?? Maybe that’s what I need to make it BIG in this town…  well, that, OR connections to Will Smith.  Give me a call, Will!

Me listening to someone’s music CD.  People could display their music at one of the tables.  Again – how come I didn’t have a music table??  I coulda made a fortune!  (Non Juan CD, “909s and Heart Flatlines” now available at iTunes, Amazon, Rhapsody, LaLa, Napster… oops, didn’t mean to plug just then!)

Woo-hoo! I got kissed by a girl!! Well, okay, ALMOST got kissed… I came from behind her shoulder and whispered in her ear that I was Tom Cruise.  Then I told her to close her eyes and give me a kiss.  I was thisclose to getting it… but then she sneezed.  Then she opened her eyes and saw me.  Not shown in this pic: the welt I got on my head afterward

A brand new Non Juan fan takes a picture with me!  I was quite the popular guy – everyone wanted to take pictures with me!  (Actually, they just wanted a pic with the faceless green screen costume guy… but at least I got to tag along!)

Aw, doesn’t she look happy to be taking a picture with me?  That’s what happens when you bring green along (and by that, I mean the $100 bill I had to pay so she’d smile long enough to get this picture.  Afterward, I had no money to get home, and had to ask a kid on a bike to let me ride on his handle bars.)

_ _ _

All in all, I had a GREAT time at the expo, and can’t wait to go back in the Spring!  Maybe by then, I’ll be big enough for girls to want to take pics with me, without me having to lie about my identity or pay them.  Here’s hoping!

-Non Juan

Got a relationship question, fan mail or more? Write ASK@NonJuan.com today!

No comments yet.

Leave a comment

Name (required)

Mail (required)

Security Code: