Hey everybody!

As some of you may know, I’ve been trying to figure out various ways to make some money on my own.  I’ve been to quite a few job interviews so far, but nobody seems to be hiring! I’ve applied for jobs at a fast food restaurant, a crash-test dummy lab… heck, I even applied to work at a Haunted House for the month of October, and they turned me down! Why? They said I was OVER-qualified!!

So, I’m trying out different ideas to try and make a quick buck.  I’ve already opened up my “Non Juan Hotline” (877-NON-JUAN, for all you ladies out there lookin’ for a hot stud, or for you fellas that need relationship advice).  Now, I’m trying out my next idea…

NON JUAN: SUPA-STAR RAPPER!!

I know what you’re thinking: “Non Juan? A rapper? YOU?!?”  Yes, yes, I know I should have thought of it sooner, but I usually focus all my attention on trying to get girls. 

It wasn’t until I looked in my journal one day and saw all the poems and sonnets I’d written about all the women who’ve turned me down over the years that I realized: “Hey, I could turn these stories into songs and make a fortune as a hip-hop artist!”

So, what could I rap about? Well, most rappers usually talk about what’s going on in their lives, so I figured I could do the same.  All I need is some slick wordplay, some hot beats, and, of course, a music video with someone famous in it to give me a co-sign, and BAM! Instant fame – and much less embarrassing than the fame (and shame) I got after being on “C.O.P.S.”  (I told those police officers my date stole my clothes for her ex-boyfriend, but NOOOOO, they just couldn’t believe me!)

And, it just so happens that I went to the world’s most famous ladies man, Don “Magic” Juan, for counseling this weekend, and filmed the whole visit! 

When I got back home, I wrote a song about what we talked about, did some edits to my footage (which I had plenty of time to do since no girls called me yesterday)… and now, I have a music video!

Check it out everybody - my music video for my song, “I’m a Non Juan,” featuring Don “Magic” Juan!

Oh man, wasn’t that GREAT!  I look so GOOD in this video!  And who knows – if it takes off, I might just put together a whole album of songs!  I can see it now: fame, fortune… and ladies. Lots and lots of ladies… all screaming my name – and this time, with approval!

I think I’m gonna start recording some more songs right now – TTYL!

-Non Juan

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