Oh man, you are not going to BELIEVE what just happened to me a few minutes ago!
So, I was sitting here updating my Twitter account (Twitter.com/NonJuan) and eating a potato salad mixed with applesauce, when my phone started to ring. I picked it up…
…and it was HER. Yes, HER!
Oh wait – you probably have no idea who “HER” is.
Um… okay, so about a year ago, I met this girl named Angela while depositing my tax refund into the bank (a whole $5.67 cents – take THAT, government!). We took one look at each other and… well, I fell head-over-heels in love; meanwhile, she asked me if she could borrow $4. Which made me think one thing…
“Oh man, she actually TALKED to me – she must like me!!”
For the next 3 months we would see each other all the time. I would take her to the movies, the go-kart racing track, and even my favorite sub shop. And I was so enamored with Angela, I actually PAID for all of our outings (mostly because, um… well, she said she wouldn’t go anywhere with me if I didn’t. She’s so cute when she gets all demanding!)
By the fourth month, I was ready to make the next big step: introducing Angela to my pet hamster and asking her to be my love bunny. I called her up to come to my place for a surprise, and she asked me if the surprise was taking her to a new expensive Italian Bistro that had just opened up. I started to say, “Well, no, but…”
…and before I could finish, she said: “Oh, sorry then, I can’t come over – my friend Bob is taking me to the Bistro. Talk to ya soon!” Then she hung up the phone.
She said she’d talk to me soon, so I waited by the phone. For 6 months, 7 days, 9 hours and 32 minutes, to be exact. Just as I was about to give up hope, my phone rang…
…and it was ANGELA!
She said she missed me, and that all 20 of the other guys she saw during that time couldn’t compare to “how much money you spe- er, I mean, how you treated me.” Then, she asked if she could take ME out to dinner and a movie!
Of course, I assumed that when she asked me, it meant she’d be paying for her AND me. Turns out, it just meant that she’d be willing to drive me in her car (since my moped handles can be uncomfortable at times). I still had to pay, but… uh… well, she did drive!
After we had dinner and a movie, she asked if we could top the evening off by buying her some jewelry – specifically, a diamond necklace she saw while we were walking from the restaurant back to her car. The necklace WAS pretty… pretty expensive – about $999 to be exact. I only had $69 left in my bank account at the end of the evening, so I told her I couldn’t buy it.
Next thing I know, Angela says she suddenly realized that her car needed to be fumigated for bugs, so she couldn’t give me a ride home. I never heard of a car being infested with bugs before – she was certainly brave to get into it and drive it to her house in the first place, but I’m glad she was looking out for me!
After that, Angela didn’t call me or ask me to do anything for several months. And then, yesterday, out of the blue, I found something on my answering machine that I’ve never gotten before:
A MESSAGE. From a GIRL. And it was ANGELA!
“Hi, Non Juan, it’s Angela… so, I was sitting around my place all bored and stuff, and all the guys I know at the moment are either at work or out of town. Since I know you don’t really do much aside from play video games in your apartment all day, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to take me out for a night on the town this Saturday. We can do whatever you’d like, as long as I like doing it, too. Oh, and please let me know in advance how much money you plan on spending so I’ll know how much time I should set aside to see you. Talk to you soon!”
Did you hear that, everybody? ANGELA WANTS TO SEE ME AGAIN!
I’m so excited – I’ve NEVER had a girl ask me out this many times before!
Of course, not everyone is as excited as I am. I told my friend Harry about it, and he said the girl is just using me for my money AND for her own ego boost. I don’t know if I should believe him – I mean, sure, she asked me how much money I’d be spending, but that’s only so she can try and guess what exciting things we’d be doing and how long those things would take. There’s nothing wrong with that, right?
So, what should I do? Should I accept the date? Is the girl trying to use me, or does she really like me? I think we might be destined to be, and I’m DYING to know what I should do! Write me at ASK@NONJUAN.com or leave a comment at TWITTER.COM/NONJUAN and help me make a decision!
-Non Juan
[...] On Wednesday’s scribble, I mentioned that a girl I had gone out with in the past named Angela had called me and asked if I could take her out for a date on Saturday night (if you missed it, you can read about my history with her right HERE). [...]