Hey everybody!  Non Juan here – hope you all had a GREAT day today!

I realized something today: women really, REALLY enjoy playing “hard to get.”  It seems like every girl I try asking out ends up taking a long, looooooong time to finally accept one of my date offers.

For example: last night I sent off 12 “I love you” messages to various girls.  One of them responded, and told me not to write her anymore.  At first, I thought she didn’t want to hear from me…

…but then I realized that what she probably MEANT was: “Don’t write me – visit me in person!”

So, I went over to her house on my moped in hopes of surprising her with a bouquet of flowers (that I got from the graveyard next to her house) and my gorgeous face (getting slapped by all those girls keeps my face massaged and fresh!).  Sure enough, she was surprised, and I thought she’d invite me in for a glass of tea and a discussion about Dungeons and Dragons…

…but instead, she ended up slamming the door in my face!

Now, any other guy may have thought she was rejecting him… but I KNEW better.  I knew she was just playing the “hard to get” game even harder.  Her slamming the door in my face was her way of saying: “Now that you’ve visited me, I want you to call me!”

So, I pulled out my phone from my bookbag (I have one of those big, early 1990s cell phones, so I have to carry it around on my back at all times) and dialed up her number.  She must have a crappy phone, ’cause she didn’t pick it up when it rang.

312 dial ups later, I saw the cops arrive at her house and tell me that she wanted me to leave.  At that point, I could only think one thing…

“YESSSSS! I’m IN! I’m IN!”  Just the fact that she called the cops on me means that she’s REALLY playing hard to get… which means that she likes me! (And the restraining order I found from her when I got home only re-confirms it – woo-hoo!)

Now that I think about it, I have a LOT of restraining orders from other girls I’ve hit on in the past.  All this time I thought they didn’t want to have anything to do with me; now I’m thinking it might just be their subtle way of letting me know they’re playing hard to get and want me to try HARDER. 

Looks like I’ve got some more girls to write to tonight! I can’t wait!

-Non Juan

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